Important Questions to Ask in Preparing for Marriage

Post by Lee Stephenson on April 5th, 2012

It is hard to believe, but Spring is here and summer is just around the corner.  That also means that the season of weddings is also upon us.  One of the things that Harvest offers is pre-marital counseling to anyone looking to get married.  The process of walking through pre-marital conversations with couples is fun and enlightening for all those involved.  Below are some important questions that I have compiled over the years that serve as a good starting point for couples looking to tie the knot.  These are not an exhaustive set of questions but they do help get the ball rolling.  How would you answer the following questions?

Theological Questions:

1. What do you believe about God? Creation? Everything?

2. Why are we here?

3. How do you form your beliefs?

4. What do you believe about the Bible? (A good exercise is to actually go through the Church’s doctrinal statement together and discuss your beliefs about each point)

5. How important is Church? Corporate Worship?

6. What are you personal habits when it comes to prayer, study, reading, worship, etc.?

7. What are we doing now when it comes to praying for one another? Is there something you would like to change in this area?

8. When kids come into the picture, should we do family devotions together and if so what should they look like? Who should lead these moments?

Relational Questions

1. Define the roles of the husband and wife in a marriage setting?  Who is going to do what?  What does the Bible say about roles in the household?

2. Define expectations when it comes to spending time with the opposite sex.  Alone?

3. How will we share home responsibilities: cleaning, cooking, yard work, car maintenance, bill paying, etc.?

4. What is an ideal date? Anniversary celebration?

5. Who keeps track of the checking account?

6. What are expectations when it comes to intimacy?

Children

1. Do you want kids? If so, how many?

2. When should we have kids? How far apart?

3. Would you or have you ever considered adopting?

4. What are the appropriate ways to discipline children?

5. When should kids go to bed?

6. How do plan to show your kids affection?

7. How would you prefer to school your kids? Home school? Public? Christian?

Lifestyle Choices

1. Rent or own a home?  How big?

2. What kind of neighborhood?

3. How many cars? New or used?

4. Financial goals? Retirement? College funds?

5. Talk about your views of money? How much money do you plan to give? (Church?)

7. Where do you plan to buy clothes?

Having Fun

1. Should we eat out? How often?

2. What kind of vacations are appropriate?

3. What kind of toys and how many toys should we have? Boat? Quads?

4. What kind of movies do you enjoy seeing?  Stay home or go to the theater?

Misc.

1. Who is going to be the main breadwinner?

2. Should a wife work outside the home?

3. What are your views on daycare?

4. What makes you angry?

5. How do you normally handle frustration?

6. Who should bring up an issue that is bothersome?

7. What is your views on getting help from friends or counselors?

8. Will we go to bed angry at each other?

9. Is it good to have guy time and girl time with the friends?

10. Do you have any health issues or physical problems that could affect our marriage?

11. What do you think about eating healthy and exercising?

12. Do you have an unhealthy habits?

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